GETTING STARTED

"Can I get fit too?"
Yeah.  I'm just a regular guy.  I'm not a natural athlete and I don't have an iron will.  If I can do it, you can too.

"Great! Tell me what to do, EXACTLY."
No.  I can give you the broad strokes but this isn't one size fits all.  I've helped many people lose weight and get fit, and it's all about customization and sustainability.  I can give you a perfect plan, but if you don't stick to it it's worthless.  Luckily the basics are the same for everyone, and we're going to keep it simple.  Start here, and once you get the basics down, tailor it to your life.

"So what are the basics?"
Fitness is simple.  Lift weights, do some cardio, eat natural, unprocessed foods, in an amount less than what you currently eat if you want to get smaller or more if you want to get bigger.  Get your vitamins, fiber, fish oil and plenty of water.  There, fitness is SOLVED.

“Wait but I see way more words down there.”
But it’s never that easy right?  There’s the rub, because though fitness is SIMPLE, it’s not easy.  Though what I outlined above is the vast majority of what it takes to be fit, most people aren’t as fit as they’d like.  People aren’t stupid, and if you’ve found your way here you’ve already proved you’re smart enough to do this (you also sound good-looking).  Fitness is simple but it’s also hard.  Motivation is the hard part.  I can’t want it for you, but I can tell you how I got to a place where I wanted it enough to overcome cravings, years of bad habits, and a billion dollar industry preying on my very human nature.  Again, I’m just one guy, and throughout this guide are tips I used at various points on my way to fitness, both physical and mental.  Use all of them, or some of them, or none of them.  This often feels like a battle, and if you’re anything like me, you’re going to need all the weapons you can get.

“Oh boy, this going to get all self-helpy isn’t it?”
A bit, but stick with me, it’s important.

“Ok motivation.  Go.”
Why do you want to get fit?  I had two types of motivation, negative and positive.  Running away from something, or running to something.

Negative motivation came easy.  I’ve always been hard on myself.  I make no judgments about others, but for me, my fat was a constant reminder of failure, of poor impulse control, of taking the easy way out, of selling myself short, of unhealthiness, lack of energy, sluggishness.  It seemed immature and stupid to mortgage my future and my present for the sake of fleeting moments of chemical pleasure, moments that themselves were wrapped in shame and self-loathing and escapism.  To me, my fat was ugly.  I never considered myself ugly, but the extra 100 lbs sure was. I judge no one else, but for ME, being fat was a perversion, a complete antithesis of what I felt about myself at my core, a constant reminder of all the worst aspects of me.  This is what I was running away from.

And it was a decent spark but ultimately it took me nowhere.

This type of motivation was not sustainable for me.  I use it in short doses and it’s effective, like when I need to grind out one more rep or when I’m passing on my second serving of dessert, but ultimately it’s exhausting constantly battling yourself.  It led to hundreds, maybe thousands, of failed diets.  Focusing on the negative never really worked long term for me, because it was just emotionally taxing.  When life was good, I didn’t buy that the effort was worth it, because, hey life was good, who cares if I’m lacking in this one area?  Even worse, when life was not going swimmingly, a constant harping on my failures led to diminished self-esteem, leading to a self-loathing infused cycle of failed diets and false starts and seeking refuge in food.

When things finally did turn around for me, the key was switching to a base of positive motivation.  It was never a conscious thought, and if you asked me at the time I probably would have laughed it off as new-age feel-goodery, but now that I’m older and less self-conscious about physical and emotional self-improvement, it’s clear.  I found the agency of fitness and reclaiming my body intoxicating.  It was an amazing time for me: after sleepwalking through a couple of unexciting years of college that left me disillusioned and depressed, I was taking a year off, living with my best friends and starting a career that excited me intellectually in ways that school didn’t and I felt more mentally capable and engaged than I ever had before.  Finally being in a positive headspace let me break free of the self-loathing that had plagued my teenage years (yeah I’m pretty unique like that) and focus not on running away from something but TO something: a healthy body I could be proud of.  There was no single “a-ha!” moment, even during this time it was a series of starts and stops and backslides, but I was motivated enough of the time to see progress over time.  So if you’re struggling with fitness I urge you to focus on the CREATION of something, and as a result of that there will be a destruction of old negative habits and thought processes.

“Ok, now that we’re getting all real…I’m too weak to change.  If I make any progress I’ll inevitably backslide and sabotage myself.”
I've been where you are thousands of times, both before and after I lost the majority of my weight.  I know all about self-sabotage, but I still took control over this area of my life, and so can you.  The first thing is to just absolve yourself of any guilt or self-loathing: you don't overeat or eat the wrong things because you're dumb or weak.  Until I really accepted that, it was impossible to change.  Yes we have agency; don’t forget that and revel in it.  But the deck is heavily stacked against us.  I'd strongly urge you check out this article from Pulitzer prize winner Michael Moss about the processed food industry, the gist of which is that the food we are surrounded with is just so artificial and engineered to be hyper-salivating, it lights up the same pleasure centers of our brains as that of any other addict, and is just so out of whack with the way we evolved that it's not surprising there's an obesity epidemic.  I'll refrain from getting too political here but the takeaway is that a bunch of rich conglomerates are making trillions exploiting our reptile brains and compromising our health in the process. 

Reading up on this subject left me feeling manipulated and angry, like how I imagine cigarette smokers who grew up in the 50’s and 60's felt when the ill effects of what they’d been sold became apparent.  The game was rigged, and we lost before we even knew we were playing.  But change is possible.  Whatever self-loathing/ rage/ anything you have wrapped up with your weight issues needs to be channeled to a more productive cause. 

Now I'm not saying you are a helpless victim.  You can change, but it’s going to be a lot harder if you don’t trust yourself.  So forgive yourself.  It's a result of a rigged game and quite often poor decisions you made as a child, or decisions that were made for you.  Take a moment and be sad.  Then get pissed.  Then make a decision, are you going to be continue to be a victim?  Or are you going to take control?

"Where do I start?"
Here.